Wednesday, November 26, 2014

What Do I Have To Be Thankful For?

I've been in hiding.  That's right, I had been hiding out from everyone.  Since I last posted, my family and I have been through some very difficult times.  You know, those times when you just want to stay in your bed and pull the blanket up over your head?  Well, I've been in "my bed" for just about 7 months now.  Not literally in my bed, but I have been hanging out in my own little world.  Tonight I don't want to get into the specifics of my situation, but rather, the effects of it.  When bad things happen it is easy to place blame and have a total disconnect from life.  I personally have gone through phases of being angry to experiencing feelings of no self worth.  Think back to the time when some kid in school said something mean about you and before long the whole class was laughing at you and whispering behind your back.  Do you remember how that made you feel?  Even your mama couldn't help you feel better.  Take that scenario and magnify it about 1000 times and that's my situation.  In the beginning, I would not go out in public places.  I would not eat out, run errands, go to the grocery store, anything that required interaction with people who may or may not know who I am.  I refused to go to church.  I didn't even want to be around my own family.  I felt like everybody I came face to face with was judging me, labeling me with their criticisms and judgements.  Then, one day, I decided to turn it all over to God and just like that, I the peace I was looking for.  I went back to my home church and embraced the love my family and friends were giving me.  I started accepting help and even asked for it a few times.  I have been overwhelmed with the way God has worked in my life.  Our family had to relocate due to finances.  My daughter turned 16 and needed a car.  I lost a job I loved and with the accusations flying, didn't see how I would get another one.  With God leading the way, I can sit here tonight and say that all of our needs have been met.  My family has a new home, we have transportation and I'm happy to say I'm learning a whole new career.  There are still huge mountains we have to climb and yes, I still have low days.  My life is not perfect by any means, BUT, I have so much to be thankful tonight.  For some,  the holidays are not warm and fuzzy.  Many of us are hurting, experiencing unthinkable things, sickness, and grieving the loss of loved ones.  There is no way, no way at all we can handle these situations on our own.  Lean on the Lord, let Him carry you through.  Thanks for reading and I hope I've given you something to think about.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  

Praise ye the LORD. O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.